Just Hits Me

Yesterday was March 25th. My brother would have turned 44. He's been gone for 2 years now. I still can't believe he's gone and that it's been 2 whole years already. I've heard "time heals all wounds".... but who came up with that? It's been 2 years and the pain still hurts as much as the day I found out. So much has happened in that time. So much I've wanted to tell him about; Even just to hear his voice on the phone.Yes, I know he's in Heaven, ....he was born again. I don't like to cry because I'm afraid I won't be able to stop crying. I feel like there is a hole ripped into my heart. I wonder when it will heal.

So much has changed in me in the past few years. I've come close to death on a few occasions. Now I live day to day as compared to when I was younger, I would worry over everything. Maybe I've just "grown up" .... it's funny how life does that to ya. I do stop and smell the roses and stare in awe at the beauty of God's handy work. I've learned to love deeper, be even more caring, not let the petty things overcome me, try not to argue over dumb things and just be an ear to listen. Maybe it's because I've turned 30 and the reality of life is hitting me. Sometimes the thought of "age" scares me. anyway.