Just Cut It Off

Recently, I have found myself in an odd position. By that, I mean that Something that looks good, Godly and that I Need to press on, but if I press on, it will be detrimental to my health and my relationship with Christ. It has come to the point that I must "Just Cut It Off".... and IT being my relationship with an organization. I realize that Not everything that Looks Godly is what God actually has for you, even though I may be the "perfect person" for the Job. The devil has been known to use something seemingly good to distract you from what God is really wanting you to do.... but you have to know how to recognize when this is happening and not let a Religious Spirit guilt you into staying in that situation.

When I was in college, I became deathly ill and I only had 4 months, 4 MONTHS until graduation. I finally told God that I couldn't handle anymore, and knowing He won't give you more than you can handle, He got me out of a bad situation that if I would have continued in... drudged through, I may have actually died. Because of having Godly and Biblical knowledge.... Having a relationship with Christ and trusting that He can work things out for me.... I left college and went home to live with my parents for several months to recoop before I got married to my amazing husband later that year. 

I believe that when we've reached that point that we can't handle anymore, God can and will put someone in that place that I was in to fill my shoes for the people I may have left hanging. God knows my heart and I know that the decisions I have to make will work out for good. 

Having said that, I want to clarify that I whole heartedly do NOT believe that "Everything Happens for a Reason"..... There is an Enemy that the Bible talks about that comes to KILL, STEAL and DESTROY. If something catastrophic were Meant to happen, Why did God GIVE us the tools to put the Devil in his place and Run him off? That's Contradictory and incorrect. Jesus DIED and got the keys from Hell and even told us "What I did, you will do and Greater!" The reason bad things happen to "good people" is because "for the lack of Knowledge, my people Parish"..... because they don't know Who they are in Christ and the Authority that was Given to them.  In turn, this is terribly sad that people, more and more are believing this Calvinistic LIE that "Everything happens for a reason". 

"God! Why did you let ______ happen?!" and he's simply shaking his head and saying "I gave you the Power. I gave you the Authority.... why didn't You do anything about it?" BUT, people don't want responsibility for their actions, so it's just easier to Blame God. 

God gave us dominion over the Fish of the Sea, the Fowl of the air, the EARTH and everything that Creeps on the earth!! He made us seated at the right hand of God the Father because of Jesus! He made us Kings and Priests in Him! He made us MORE than Conquerors!! We are to Preach, Heal & Deliver! Does that sound like we are powerless? NO. (If you want the scriptures, I will find them for these) Jesus turned water into wine, walked on water, raised the dead, cleansed the leapers, healed the sick, FREELY YOU HAVE RECEIVED, FREELY GIVE.  Also, James 4:7 says "Submit to God, RESIST the DEVIL and He will FLEE from you!" Does that one scripture sound like we're supposed to roll over and take what the devil is throwing at us? NO. He's giving a command!! 

So, with all of this said, I cannot believe a Lie that Christians are taking Hook, Line and Sinker. There was a body of believers in the Bible that I believe Paul preached to; He commended them for researching what he said to make sure he was Preaching correctly and Rightly Dividing the Word! 

That doesn't happen too much in this day and age anymore and people are wondering where God is. It's because they aren't SEEKING Him... they are just expecting everything to fall into their laps. 

Even though we were investing so much into this place, we no longer can. There comes a time when you must break free and do what the Lord would have you do, even if it's not what Others want and try to convince you to do. Hear the Holy Spirit for Yourself. Depend on His leading and guiding.... People can make Mistakes, The Holy Spirit is a comforter and teacher. Trust Him. 

Chronic Pain In the Rump....

And I mean that title literally and as a pun.

I've had Ulcerative Colitis since I was 11 years old. Back then, it was un heard of for kids, only 1 in like, 10,000 kids had it and I happened to be one of them. Naturally since not many kids had it, fingers were pointed by the medical industry towards the males of the family which was complete crap and unfounded. Since I've gotten older, it's become more Common.... sadly, amongst So many Americans (and I'm sure people abroad). I personally blame the Pharmaceutical & Food industries.... I believe they are hand in hand with making money off of  people who eat the foods and wonder why they are sick. Anyway, back on track to where I was going. 

Having U.C. Absolutely stinks. Having "Severe" U.C. is even worse. 

Let me break it down for you of some of the things I deal with....

1. Anxiety

This is the feeling that hits when you are riding in a car with NO bathroom in sight and that sudden onset Urge hits, with the hot flashes and you feel like your going to implode, explode and the world will cease to exist unless you find a bathroom. Your heart races out of your chest, your breathing like you are running a marathon and the feeling of pure panic feeds it because you know you Won't make it to the bathroom in time.... then there's the anxiety of "If I do find a bathroom, is it a 1 seater and if it is a 1 seater, will it be out of order or will someone be in it? Will the bathroom be at the BACK of the store?. etc etc. etc. " so all of this is going through your mind while you try to not fly apart from the inside out.  

2. Humiliation

This is the feeling if you Don't make it to the bathroom in time. You become a blubbering mess while trying to clean yourself up and not make too much noise as to concern people passing by the door. 

It just chips away at your dignity little by little, but we don't really tell anyone cause they just "won't get it" so we keep it quietly to ourselves wishing people understood our peril, but not wanting to let the secret out because it's a hard cross to bear. 

This is also the feeling when you Do have to explain to people Why you have to suddenly dodge out of a conversation due to uncontrollable tummy urges, and not that you aren't interested in them as a person. (Yes, it's gone that far for me!) 

3. Despair/ Hopelessness 

This feeling appears when you want to go places and are confined to your home/ BATHROOM when you have a flare up or ate something that didn't agree with you. It happens quite often and we can be mistaken for hermits.... thus why we want You to come to Our house to visit. Our bathroom is much more comfortable and we know where everything is in it. 

It's not that we don't want to go places and do things, it's just that if there is no bathroom, the anxiety level is raised so high that we just can't enjoy ourselves while waiting for the inevitable to happen. 

4. Frustration

There is a big level of frustration that is dealt with, knowing you Have to go places, i.e. Doctor's offices, grocery shopping  and wanting to go places to be a part of the family.  The worst part is pressure to be with the family on an outing, not wanting to miss out & make memories, but your tummy just doesn't want any part of it. This creates stress which in turn makes the problem even worse. It becomes one viscous cycle that seemingly never ends. This too, becomes part of the frustration, being stuck in a health rut .... "When will this ever let up?.... Why me? ..........etc etc etc."

One thing that I must ask anyone reading this who knows someone with even mild U.C..... be SUPPORTIVE. Don't be upset when you have to take a few more bathroom breaks on the road trip, it's OKAY. Yeah, it will take a little longer to get there, but that's part of the trip is the journey! Don't roll your eyes or huff whenever they have to go to the bathroom... this causes more stress to the U.C. sufferer and makes us feel like complete crap as a person. We are worth waiting for and if you don't want to put that time and effort in, then find someone else. Plain and simple. If you truly Love someone, you will be LOVING and Patient! Cause I can bet you, they would do the same for you if the shoe was on the other foot!